• Sim

Always late

I've always been late out of the gate with most things. Started going out later than most of my friends. got sexually active way later than my peers, much to my embarrassment. Got a job later than most. When I look back to my earlier years, something else becomes clear: I work in my own pace. Both in elementary school and high school I did much better when I could work on my own time. So perhaps I'm never actually late as much as I intuitively adhere to my own tempo.

It's easy to get trapped by a mindset that things are slow, or feeling like I'm stuck, maybe even feel like I've just missed the curve. However there's an interesting caveat. During my unemployment I already knew what I wanted and where I wanted to go. The real challenge lies in navigating external pressure that's pushing me to match society's pace. The unemployment agency pushed me to get a job, whilst I had some other idea of what I should be doing. I voiced my intention to parents: Let me do my own thing, I will fix it. Much to my parents credit they gave me the space and time to work it out in my own pace. Which eventually lead to my move to Norway.

When intention,desire and drive align a process is set in motion of accumulation. Once that process is complete I feel ready to do the thing I set out to do. In conventional wisdom my type of behavior could be construed as lazy or perhaps even entitled. Everyone's internal rhythm differs. Some of us match the pace society expects from us, others do their own thing. Consider this:

“A wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.” - Gandalf  

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